As a counselor, I want to emphasize that a professional counselor possesses the tools, knowledge, expertise, and more, to diagnose your problems and guide you towards a solution. However, this is merely a fraction of what counseling entails.
Research has consistently shown that the most pivotal factor in therapy is the therapeutic alliance—the relationship the client establishes with the therapist. You see, life presents us with only a handful of opportunities to authentically be ourselves with another person and experience complete acceptance. Consequently, it becomes challenging to fully embrace ourselves. Often, we exchange our genuine selves for a "persona" that we believe others will find acceptable. This is referred to as "groupthink." We conform to the group's desires, often driven by the fear of ridicule, rejection, or simply being made fun of.
Deep within us, though, we recognize that this isn't our true essence. We can't help but wonder whether our authentic self would measure up. As Carl Jung aptly puts it, "Shame is a soul-eating emotion." While our persona thrives on external validation, our true self yearns for connection—yearns to be understood by others. We experience shame regarding our true identity because we've traded it for a counterfeit self. The remedy for this, in many instances, involves a deep connection with an individual who, with the ultimate goal of recognizing your truest self's goodness, strikes a balance between assertiveness and giving space.
The counselor's objective is not to impose their perspective of right and wrong onto the client. Instead, it's to inspire them to be attentive to their inner selves and muster the courage to heed the faint, yet significant, inner voice that occasionally guides them onto a daunting path. Naturally, the counselor is skilled in various interventions that can help the individual tackle obstacles along their journey. However, the individual must recognize that their deepest self plays an indispensable role in this world. They must understand that merely conforming to the group's norms deprives the collective of experiencing a distinctive facet of their world. The group, in essence, the world, is denied the chance to encounter you—with all your imperfections and quirks.
At times, the meaning of life is far from easily encapsulated in a simple mantra that could navigate us through life's tragedies. Occasionally, true healing necessitates the presence of a trusting relationship. The trust fostered over several sessions with a counselor who genuinely cares about your genuine self is where the individual discovers the opportunity to truly embrace their identity and progress towards wholeness. I use the term "progress towards" deliberately because expecting perfection in this life would be unreasonable. Humanity's beauty lies in its chaos. Joy emerges from the journey. Meaning unveils itself through the process of stumbling forward bravely like a child in the dark. Just as a skilled artist crafts a stunning masterpiece by blending adherence to principles with a touch of recklessness.
Counseling offers a secure haven, guided by a trusted individual, where you can risk expressing yourself in your most vulnerable form. This might involve dialogue about your day, week, year, or life as a whole. Sometimes, it might entail sharing a poem, a song, a relatable YouTube video, a painting, or a drawing. It could look like voluntary play. Occasionally, it could even entail sitting in silence for half an hour without feeling any frustration directed at you for not speaking.
One of my professors once remarked, "Certain individuals may share things with you that they haven't shared with anyone else in years." It's both captivating and heartrending to acknowledge that most people withhold their genuine selves from their closest friends and family. Yet, this is comprehensible. When we encounter rejection in any form, we start constructing narratives that deem that aspect of ourselves unworthy. Counseling strives to rewrite that narrative.
By developing trust, and assisting the individual to investigate who they really are, the counselor can assist the individual to move closer to wholeness.
Comentarios